I’m a worrier. Big surprise to my family (no, it’s not). I find things to worry about if my worry plate isn’t currently full. I worry. A lot. About all kinds of things, the odds of which happening are probably slim to none. And yet, there I am…worrying about it. I’m really hoping there are other parents out there who feel at least some of these.
Ok, so here goes. Don’t laugh at me…I worry:
That most people don’t really like me. Oi-vey. Starting out with a doozy. My tough exterior says “who gives a crap if you don’t like me” but the inside says “but why? I haven’t done anything bad to you…what’s wrong with me?” and I hate, hate, hate that. I hate that I feel this way, but alas…there it is.
That I’ll die way earlier than I should and leave my family to fend for themselves. I know, this is just silly to invite this kind of worrying. See? I have an objective, logical side. But what if this happens?? Who will balance the checkbook?
That I’ll lose my job and won’t be able to provide for my family? ugh…I can’t even piece this one together. I spend a lot of time worrying and game-planning a worst-case scenario for this one.
That I don’t pay good enough attention to my kids. I don’t. I know I don’t. There’s just not enough time in the day to give them what they want and deserve from me. And the real kicker is that I give work my best and my kids get the crap left over. How backwards is that?! And I know they’re only young for so long, so time’s ticking on this worry.
That I don’t pay good enough attention to my husband. Again…I know I don’t. Fortunately for me, he’s very, very understanding and patient. He’s such a good friend to me. I know he deserves better and I think “soon I’ll have more time” but you know what? That doesn’t ever happen. Stink! I have to figure out a way to fix this. Append this worry to have a subcategory: 5a) I worry that I’ll never free up enough time to give to my sweet husband.
That I keep having to throw away perfectly good meat I bought at the store because I was too tired/ lazy to cook dinner during the week. Ugh…this drives me nuts and makes me feel like I’m throwing away money. Because I am!! Dangit. This worry is simply a confirmation of the lack of time, giving the best of me to the wrong places worry set I’ve mentioned earlier. I hate when this happens. I plan, I budget, I find good deals. And then I throw it all away because I’m just tired. So tired.
That someone might break into our house. Ah, yes…my go-to worry when everything else in the day went right somehow. Yes…this worry pops up when I have just entered drowsiness in my comfy bed. In the dark, coolness of my bedroom I hear something. What was that? The house settling? But it sounded a little different…maybe someone is downstairs. Nonsense. But…what if?? I should go check the kids. Of course, it’s nothing. But now I’m really awake and my senses hyper-focus on Every. Little. Sound.
That our house will burn down. ugh…this one drives me nuts because it usually invites itself on vacation with us. Although at least I can temper this worry with the fact that our house alarm will go off and we will receive a phone call from the alarm company advising us of a fire alarm at the house. So…I wait for the call.
That our refrigerator will break at the same time as the dishwasher and oven. I know, this seems like really inviting worry, but each of these appliances have been giving us little hints about their future plans. And with my luck, they’re at home this very minute in the planning stages of a coordinated attack on our budget.
That I will never reach my goal. I am worrying about it a bit…but I keep plugging away at it.
So there you have it. And while I’m by no means a master of my worrying, I do keep this handy and it calms me when my worry starts to pounce on my sanity:
“Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.” Philippians 4:6-7